I have taken down all my books to have them edited. I am tired of being called a crap writer in readers reviews. I realize now I should of never released any of my books without having them edited first. I love what I do, I love sharing my books with you and I promise, just as soon as they are fixed, I will repost them for sale.
As a community we are not always the nicest to each other. People make rude comments because I spelled a few words wrong. I could make excuses but the truth is writing isn't always easy. Sometimes you are awake for three days because the story needs to come out so bad it hurts and if you don't hire and editor and you said they're instead of their, people can be just cruel.
I apologize to those who feel my work was a let down. I make my entire living off the books I sell. Bad reviews take away from my rent and now my books are not for sale at all. Not until after editing. So keep your eyes open. As I get my edited works back I will repost them on amazon.com in the kindle story for sale once again.
Lots of love,
Ria Goff
P.S. For those of you who felt the need to say horrible things to me. There was no need. My email address was available here on this website. You could have contacted me personally and said your piece without airing it in public.
For those of you who don't know and don't follow my wife and I's other blogs , I will fill you. My wife's father has a bad ticker and is dying. I am a self published writer and I don't make a ton of money for that reason. She hasn't seen her father in over 10 years so if you can donate anything at all towards her ticket home, he's living on borrowed time and we fear it's running out. He has begun to slow down. I could only put up half the money. So anyone willing to kick in please donate via paypal to [email protected] thank you, love to all. Ria Goff
 So, like many of you, I pre-ordered Pink's new cd, the truth about love. I've fallen in love with every track on the damn cd and because I am awake working on my newest book - I have listened to said cd on repeat five times tonight. Her track, Just give me a reason, a duet she sings with Nate Reuss, from the band fun, it is in fact fun. Well not so much fun as a heart breaking conversation between herself and her husband where he sounds just like my spouse. I saw Pink say in an interview that she creates scenarios of unhappiness in her own head, much like every other female on the planet, he didn't look me in the eye (or she) when he passed me the paper this morning, does he hate me? I was so relieved to hear that even her mind works this way that i let out a breath I had no idea I was holding. I am in fact, at this moment, partially awake this morning because I am waiting to order tickets to her new tour this coming spring. On March 28th, 2013, myself, wife and son will all be at her new show and I cannot wait. I have been a huge fan of Pink since she was just signed. In fact, there you go was my own personal anthem for well over a year, far longer than any of my friends, who told me to get over her. I am glad I did not listen to them. From bright Pink hair, to rebel attitude this is one woman I am glad, has never backed down or changed for anyone. Even her new Cd, the truth about love, discusses love in a real way, not holding back and sugar coating it but telling you how it really is - The truth about love - a direct quote from the song
"Oh, you want the truth?
The truth about love is it's nasty and salty
It's the regret in the morning, it's the smelling of armpits
It's wings, and songs
And trees, and birds
It's all the poetry that you ever heard
Terror coup d'etat life line forget-me-nots
It's the hunt and the kill
The schemes and the plots
The truth about love is it's blood, and it's guts
Pure bread, and mutts
Sandwiches without the crust
It takes your breathe, cause it leaves a scar
But those untouched never got never got very far
It's rage and it's hate
And a sick twist of fate
And that's the truth about love
The truth about love"
The truth about the truth about love is I am in love with both Pink - the girl she was, the woman she became and all the stuff that made her who she is, in between. No matter what she sings, no matter what the story is, it stirs the soul and makes you wonder what she held back, if she did or if she even had anything left to hold back at all. - All in all this album is a winner.
Ria Goff.
I saw on the news tonight about how children are being bullied about their weight, sexual preference, family.. etc and it broke my heart. I started playing around some lyrics. Let me know if anyone wants to collaborate with me to finish this song... It is very very rough. P.s I think lady gaga looks healthier with the few added pounds. Ria.
Words stain the soul
So be careful what you say
Chose wisely
They never go away
I rose above
I went beyond
I am strong
You are strong
They were wrong
They were wrong
I remember nights
Lying in my bed
Crying out my eyes
Over things you said
I rose above
I went beyond
I am strong
You are strong
They were wrong
They were wrong
Welts from words
Battered soul
Tear me up
Leaving holes
Words puncture our
Adolescent armor
Leading into drama
All alone
Fall apart
Scattered Dreams
Broken hearts
Joining hands
Together we are tall
We can batter the storm
Watch our bullies fall
I held on
I grew up
Things got better
Your words
They no longer plague my head
They no longer chase me to bed
I rose above
I went beyond
I am strong
You are strong
They were wrong
They were wrong
I rose above
I went beyond
I am strong
You are strong
They were wrong
They were wrong
Just hold on
Their words will fade
Just hold on
Reach for my hand
I've been where you are
I understand
And I promise you
You'll make it through
Because you are strong
Just hold on
It get's better
I rose above
I went beyond
I am strong
You are strong
They were wrong
They were wrong
I had a dream last night that I was in a hotel bar in Canada, I was alone, sipping my drink and singing a very sad song to myself. When I looked down the bar, I found I wasn't actually alone. Kd Lang was sitting at the piano and she very quietly began to play music behind my lonely lyrics. The song swelled, formed, crashed, broke and was absolutely, heart wrenchingly wonderful. I found when I woke up that I remembered most of the words to the song, so i wrote them down and decided to send this message out into the universe.
Ms. Kd Lang, if you are out there and read this, I want to write a song with you. I want to sing that song with you and I want to be awake when I do so. I have never wanted something so bad in my entire life. ....
So I make it a wish and pray somewhere I have a fairy or two looking out for me. Fairy godmothers and fathers that is ;)
Universe be kind, I send love and this wish out and wait to see what I get back.
So lately sales have slacked off. I have finished writing a new book but because it is still being edited it has not been released yet. Soon, I promise. I do know for a fact, however, that it is just about ready for e-print. It is called While she sleeps and I promise you.. this one is a dozy. We are on the cusp of moving out of our current apartment and in with family for a while. Times are tough, everyone is cutting back and doing what they can to save money, us included. So I guess I am feeling a bit down. My lyrics tonight are for a song I am toying with called Can't escape me. It is a little dark as I seem to be extremely depressed tonight. It will pass, I will use my funk to work on my new book. Here are the lyrics and off I go...
If I wrote it in blood
Would it make it any more real?
Smearing my failures
On a mirror
Like cancer
Read my secrets
See how I reel
I fall continuously
If only you could see
I'm empty
I'm hollow
I'm bitter
Full of regret
Hear my words
See my pain
Help me figure out
Who the fuck to blame
If I wrote it in blood
Would it make this any more real?
Smearing my failures
On a mirror
Like cancer
You can't escape me
You hold me down
I break free
You scream out the truths
I fail to see
It doesn't make you better
Nothing is forever
Except...
I'm empty
I'm hollow
I'm bitter
Full of regret
Hear my words
See my pain
Help me figure out
Who the fuck is to blame
If I wrote it in blood
Opened these wounds
Bleeding to heal
Some of my truths
Would I still be empty?
Would I still be alone?
Full of regret
You don't hear me
You don't see me
So I blame you
I blame you
If I wrote this in blood
Would it be anymore real?
Smearing my failures
On a mirror
Like cancer
You can't escape me
You can't escape me
Every now and again I feel the urge to write out some.. lyrics I have banging around my skull. I couldn't sleep and I am perhaps a tad over medicated due to a recent and painful strain on my back..anyway.. here is deceptions
You say it's all my head
(what is it anyway?)
The voices have said
(That you are against me)
I struggle to find
(A way away from here)
Only to find
(These chains that bind me)
I try so hard to fight
The lies I hide without the light
Here in the dark it is so easy to achieve
All the deceptions that I need
I tried to break away
(For all the good it's done)
I swore I'd never be the same
(Hide the razor beneath your tongue)
And though I've tried to hide it
I have failed to disguise it
I try so hard to fight
The lies I hide without the light
Here in the dark it is so easy to achieve
All the deceptions that I need
And it seems
I am coming apart at the seams
And it seems
You knew everything
Everything
Everything
You say it's all in my head
(What is it anyway?)
The voices have said
(That you are against me)
I struggle to find
(A way away from here)
Only to find
(These chains that bind me)
I try so hard to fight the madness deep inside of me
I struggle hard to find my voice
My hands they shake as I struggle to break free
The truth it breaks
The little pieces I had left of me inside of me
And it seams I am coming apart at the seams
And it seems
You knew everything
Everything
Everything
I try so hard to fight
The lies I hide without the light
Here in the dark it is so easy to achieve
All the deceptions that I need
I try so hard to fight
The lies I hide without the light
Here in the dark it is so easy to achieve
All the deceptions that I need
I try so hard to fight
The lies I hide without the light
Here in the dark it is so easy to achieve All the deceptions that I need
I am working out new book ideas. I write a poem daily, at least one, to try to keep the mind agile. Today I am not quite sure what I was channeling but I wrote the following poem. I put myself into the position of our soldiers and out it flowed. I wanted to share with you. I called it Of Thee I sing
I sit inside my vessel
It's is empty like me
Though I try to fill it up
It empties out around me
The colors run across me
Staining my skin
And though I feel the war upon me
I know I cannot win
In the distance drums are beating
Calling for the blood
But the King cries out against it
His crown is caked with mud
He struggles against the trumpets
Prothetic in their battle cry
Not a single man will live today
On this field they die.
Red runs like rivers
Puddles in the mud
Screams of falling brothers
As death rains down from above
Fire burns around us
Smoke blinding their eyes
From their throats poor their endless cries
I sit inside my vessel
It's empty like me
Though I try to fill it
It empties out all around me
The colors run across me
Staining my skin
And though I hear the war is upon me
I know I cannot win
In the distance the pipers piping
The notes echo with pain
The sky is clouded over
Drenching us with rain
Old fears are upon us
Echoes of the slain
Running for cover
There is no escape from the pain
The drummer keeps on drumming
The piper pipes on
They will keep doing so
Until all are gone.
No more echoes in the field
No more ghosts of the past
No more red running rivers
Puddles of the past
I remain in my vessel
Empty as I see
I no longer fill it around me
I spent it all
Serving my country
I am empty like my vessel
It is empty like me
Death is upon us
My country tis of thee
We dreamt of victory
Sweet land of libertyOf thee I sing.
So. It is a new year. Yes it is and sadly one of the 1st things I've seen of this new year has been this vast and spreading negativity towards gay people. I just read on Adam Lambert's twitter that some one called him a gay slur. I don't know Adam personally but I am offended for him. I take pride in my wife, in my life, in our love and I don't care what a bunch of small minded people think or feel about it. It is funny how we give the right to be married to fat jobless dudes with no teeth and a drinking problem who beat their wives but when I want to stand before god and my family and take vows with my wife I can only do so in a handful of states. America is supposed to be the best country in the world. We are supposed to be 'free' and live the dream but every day our dream gets voted down by the same group of close minded men and women who probably parented the homophobe on Adam's twitter. So what do we do? We make signs, we picket and protest and sometimes, we win but we should never, under any circumstance, give up hope.
Hope can drag us out of the dark, give us strength and the courage to hold our heads up high when we feel like the whole world is against us. Hope is that thing you have when you are sitting at your dinner table, choking down your food, terrified that if you tell your parents you are gay (they will hate you) (Or) they will still love you and it gives you the power to say those words, to gain that freedom, to free yourself, to find yourself. The fear of the unknown is what drives such things.
I think I have a cure for homophobia. I think every small minded man or woman needs to go get liquored up with their best same sex buddy and drop trough. Go ahead, have the experience. Feel guilty about enjoying it if that is who you are but for the love of God, get past your judgement and fear.
I don't care what it takes but I do hope one day the word 'free' will actually mean exactly that to every single one of us. I raise my glass tonight to the wonderful message Lady Gaga is sending out to the world. Her new album, titled Born this way, comes out in May I believe and I wish, really wish their were more positive people in the world who used their fame to say it is okay if others are gay. Gaga herself is reported to be bi-sexual and I thank God every day that she is out there and she's got our backs. Maybe with someone like her at the helm of our big gay party ship, maybe, just maybe we can crawl out of this dark age of homophobia and hatred and into a new age of love and understanding. Get to drinking, your boys are waiting.
Ria
I am so tired. It really really sucks and I don't have the energy to write anymore tonight, not book wise anyway. I am tired on a level .. spiritually I think, that I am not used to being tired on. It has been a long, emotional day. Pms, lack of chocolate and major decisions that plagued me and had to come to an end.. all came to a head today. I don't regret any of this things I've said or done in the last 24 hours. Sometimes you have to let go of something you've held on to, longer than you needed to, to be able to grab on to the next great thing.
I have whiplash which is disrupting my sleep, my eating. my life... the drugs make me tired when I need to be awake and awake when i need to be asleep. black is white, up is down, in is out and sleep is ..gone. UGH.
The whole day wasn't terrible.. I did see Pink on the Ellen Degeneres show today.. she announced she was pregnant and I was so happy for her.. Sadly I tweet to Pink obsessively but she never answers me. Why? because I am just an obsessed fan, just like all of you. I do love her.. I have been eating, breathing and sleeping to funhouse since I got it. OK I lied, I don't sleep to it, ever. but I do find fun things to do in the dark with the one I love...and I do mean I use a laser pointer to entertain my cat.
|
RSS Feed